Fusion: Reality and Perspective

 Last year was our first experience at camp. You can read about it here.  If you recall my world was opened up to some very special people, and God really gave me great perspective in the long haul of parenting. I called working with my high school girls like 'a breath of fresh air': a hopeful look towards awesomeness with my kids. I was inspired. 

This year was completely different. And didn't our good Father know exactly what I needed? He prepared me in every way to utterly depend on HIM.

I had spent the earlier part of the year reading Union with Christ, a book that helped me see again the reality of Life in HIM. My study times in the Sermon on the Mount, all of these truths from God's word prepared me to counsel these young girls. And to counsel, and keep counseling.

But honestly the whole entire time I felt overwhelmed. Overwhelmed not always in an anxious sort of way (which is often the case), but in a more fully dependent kind of way.  These girls were looking to me and coming to me and they were sharing a ton of tough stuff. They were asking me to give wisdom, to show them the way. And though often feeling like I had nothing to give, I knew I had to give everything. In the late nights, in the off hours, the hearts unraveled before me.

Most of the issues presented to me in one form or another came down to two basic things: "Does God really care about me?" and  "....will I still be loved by my parents if ______?" Of course they weren't asked that way at all. These manifested in all kinds of interesting and sometimes shocking examples of testing out the truths. And you can already see the flawed thinking, the place everyone struggles to get out of: complete focus on self. Self absorption can be a subtle thing to the one absorbed in it.

Yes, these folks are finding their place in the world and realizing (if they are honest) it isn't all about them (a lesson I have to keep learning myself). The counsel I had to give was not 'mushy-gushy God loves you, it will be all right' kind of stuff. It was 'God loves you, and He is enough, get outside yourself and see the beauty he has for you on the narrow, hard, road'....and so much more into each specific situation.

The reality of their situations and decisions exposed to the light of God's word gave them hope and joy, but it also gave them exposure. The junk was out there. It wasn't always pretty. And the walls in some of these hearts were pretty thick, at least I thought. I had to clink away day by day with hugs and assurance, not defining them by what they had told me but by the image of God in them.

For every person I counseled I kept thinking how I, as a parent, would react.

These kids (and all) have a desperate need to not just be loved by their parents but to actually feel loved by their parents. It's a security thing. And it is not so black and white. These parents really had done an amazing job in most of these situations. But I had to reflect on my own issues of the very exact nature. Certainly, certainly God fulfills all the needs of our/their hearts in Christ.  But can't I, as a mom, give a better picture of what that means? Not as a law (be a better mom!), but as a spurring on (Die to yourself, die to give life, while your kids are floundering, while they are screaming insults at you, while they are walking the wide road away from you...chase with a hug, not with the rod.)

This is the reality and perspective I learned this year, and will have to keep learning as my kids grow and the world wants their hearts: Listen to them and listen some more. Don't back away from truth but let my affection outrun my correction. Our kids don't have to be so outrageously 'prodigal' to be far from truth...will I be as the Father and welcome the wanderer back with joy, or send her to her room with disappointment all over my face? OR perhaps harder:  when their hearts are far and hard will I pursue with gentle love even when rejected? Lord, let Gospel grace make our home a safe haven, and gospel power help us walk the walk of the narrow road. Together.

The Fusion Experience

I will try not to get too sappy or cliche as I describe the Camp Fusion Experience, but I often resort to both, so bear with...

1.  We are doing 'our' thing. 

That Soph and I started the camp journey together is golden. It is 'our' thing, for now. Sophia cannot wait for her siblings to join her, but doing the unknown together has bonded us close. At camp we don't see each other much at all. I get a morning hug and a 2 second debrief of how much candy she ate. I am pretty good friends with her counselors, and they were loving my daughter so well. But I was watching her. And she was watching me. She talks about how much fun I am at camp (and yes, she means as opposed to home). She is not trying to be critical, or even pouty. She is making observations. We had a great conversation about this just a week ago. I described to her the timeline of our family, of my having babies, nursing babies, schooling babies, and how yes, indeed it was high time I lighten up a bit. This camp thing, 'our' thing has certainly helped Sophia and me grow closer, and helps me enjoy my life at home so much more.

2. Everyone is a learner. 

Worlds open wide. Man, the places these folks live, the schools (or lack of) they attend, the things they do, the troubles they face, the adventures they seek, the talents they have. Sure, these kids are all alike, and have a common experience that makes them like siblings, but at the same time their uniqueness is a flare that draws us to listen to every detail of their story. Camp is a time where you learn even more about your brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles. You hear their life experiences and how God in Christ weaves it all. Both Sophia and I love learning about other people's journey and sharing ours with hearts that understand. 

3. We practice doing intimidating things.  

Talent Night. This was an incredibly safe place to be up front and perform. Everyone here was FOR everyone else. When someone missed a step or forgot what they were going to do, they were cheered on. Plus, these skits were so well done, and I cried laughing most of the night. Sophia chose to recite some Shakespeare. She was SO nervous. The emcees were college students that grew up overseas and had come to camp their whole life. They were counselors too and they were hi-lar-i-ous!
Though her recitation was fast paced she didn't miss a beat! Well done, Soph.

4. We rally to do physically and mentally tough things.

Team time was team building. These folks aren't your 'peeps' necessarily, but they become so by the end. From youngest to oldest you unite for the common goal of trying to win competitions. And some of these obstacles were seriously hard.

5. We enjoy common graces that let us laugh at each other and with each other.

Learning to dance the "Virginia Reel". (This was for the middle and high schoolers and their respective counselors-me). I love to dance so this was fun, and it made me feel young while probably looking  pretty stupid. We learned a few other group dances too and played a ton of games until curfew every night. This is where I really love watching these young people! They are unassuming, indulge us old folks, let us participate in these dances and games, and don't put on airs about anything. They are letting guards down and having good 'ole fun. Here is one big cliche: it really felt like family.

6.  We practice doing HARD things.

 'Underground' could have been one of my favorite activities. I was blown away by how well orchestrated it was and with so many teaching points that actually affected the kids. We used the whole hotel area and the beach spread as well. Counselors each had a role. Students were looking for 'groups' of believers, that were already formed and meeting. They would try to share with the counselors around them. (They had been taught great methods for doing this during track time earlier in the week). Young ones were paired with older ones. There were a few 'groups' that were not 'real', meaning their teaching was bad and the kids had to discern if they should stay with that group or not. Many counselors were secret police. Many kids got hauled off to jail. Some counselors (in their role) were very against what the kids were trying to share, some slowly listened and followed. This was great interaction with real world apologetics and the kids did awesome.

7.  We enjoy the talents of our new friends.

 This drum set came alive and helped the week rock with great praise and worship. We were led by a group of students themselves and what a week of praising it was!

8. We go deep fast and lean hard into Jesus together.

Study time, play time, candlelight, snack time, game time. Time. The intensity of camp is punctuated by time together in age groups to study the Word and dissect what is going on in our hearts. There is no substitute for this. Sure, a lot of these kids have great times in the word throughout the year, but being together and talking through struggles, and being refreshed by how the gospel is impacting others is so encouraging.

9. We ponder and wonder and sing in AWE of our God. Together.

Camp FUSION: The FUN of it all

Called Camp Fusion because they fused two camps together, this year's camp had twice as many campers from many different countries in SE Asia. 

This post hopes to capture just a tidbit of the fun that was had. The people who put this together are amazing! I will then post a bit of the experience of it all, and lastly about the reality of what I learned and perspective gained. 

First of all just look how blessed we were with our surroundings: A Thai beach!

And yes, it was hot, but we did have cloud cover some.


After lunch and study time was canteen, where kids can buy fun treats, some from America that they never get to eat, like Nutter Butters or Nerds. And Soda. Daily for the kids=crazy and cavities!
(not just the kids, I Love me some Nutter Butters and any chocolate I could grab)

I had not met this lady until I arrived, she was my roommate and she became a rock for me through some tough stuff at camp. Her length of overseas experience and just plain humility and fun was challenging. She did not even have a kid at camp, but has been serving and loving these kids like family for a long time. Her kids are grown and gone, which made for some great discussions too. LOVE HER.

After canteen came Rec time And the Rec leaders came up with some very creative and challenging events for competition against other teams. The teams are a mix of every age 9-18, and I love this aspect of getting to know people across the age-range.

Here I am making a fool and having fun. This is harder than it looks, (at least that makes me feel better if I say it).

Team time spitting paint darts!

Rec time: this was probably the hardest obstacle...there I go over the net. I only almost broke my ankle. 

 

Sophia and I were not on the same team, but both our teams were at this event at the same time. Poor Girl. The person with the closest birthday had to dig for their team bandanna. Except somehow theirs got buried deep and away from its original spot. She gave it her all, and was there a long time. She had even had a slight fever that morning. Finally, the judges let her team help and it still took a while but they found it. This was also at the hottest time of the day! She was exhausted.

 

Crazy challenges that were hard to conquer!

Sophia on a teammate's back!

Once, again, look at the island mountain/hill in the background!

 After Rec was a short break and then track time. Older kids got to choose tracks, the elementary ones were assigned. I did not teach a track until the last two days so I sneaked in and found Sophia doing crafts.



After Track time was dinner and then some evening event that was ALWAYS FUN! Sometimes this was separated by age, like the elementary kids had an awesome shaving cream fight on the beach.

 They told us about this beforehand and it was a bring your own deal. This is what stopped us with our checked luggage in every airport. I had to walk behind the counter and confirm what it was.

Sophia and one of her roommates, who has become a close friend. 

This was just a peek at the adventure that was had. I will try to unpack more in the next few posts, but really you just gotta live it to love it. 

Currently.

Currently....We are:

Struggling with....

• Transition! We were only gone a few weeks (3 for Sophia and Lorraine), but as our kids get older, these times get harder. Connections with kids like them, ability to open up, get real, talk spiritual things. They were poured into by others in a way that only happens once a year! They love the chance to hang with other ex-pat kids (or TCKs, Third-culture-kids, though I don't love the title). They also love being home. Mixed emotions. A lot of sadness, moodiness, and flaring tempers (not just the kiddos) adjusting to our summer grind. But still they would say...There is no place like home!
• looking forward and trying to figure out our fall schedule. I tried to do the math on the time needed to do decent homeschool with all kids while Tobin starts Chinese elementary, and it didn't add up....it still doesn't add up, I have four weeks to figure it out. 

Exercising...

• For me, still doing Kettle bells and running on off days, but a glute/hamstring issue has caused a year of pain for me. I used to love mixing up my run workouts, right now I just have to get out the door and make it 5k...
• P.E.! I finally put together a PE schedule while on school break! It involves 3 days of gymnastics/strength and 3 days of soccer/ball touch drills. We are on week 2 and enjoying it!

 Studying....

• David and I both are doing some Mandarin refresher studies in certain domains on our own the next few months. After thirteen years, still much to be learned in this language. Always a language learner.
• still loving anything by Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones... 
• The book...'The Brain's Way of Healing', my dad got me into this. It is no fast read, but I am hooked and in it for the long  haul. Fascinating. It puts me in awe of our Creator every time I read it. 

Watching...

• David and I finally started watching some of the Avenger movies and actually like them...
• Can't think of a REALLY good movie we have watched lately. The last one we really really enjoyed was 'Arrival'. (ok, and Despicable Me 3)
• Our kids enjoy the "Little House on the Prairie" series, though it can be high drama, I actually have to read what it is about before showing some of them, they can be super-intense.
• David's old college friends, Rhett and Link are as crazy as ever and apparently get like 14 billion views on their youtube channel (Good Mystical Morning). We watched a few and now know why. Our kids REALLY dig this....Sophia and her Best local friend just did their own version of 'Will it....?" in Chinese...it was hilarious too.  

Reading Aloud....

• We finished and loved (though I cried) The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, just finished The Whipping Boy, and just started 'Shipwreck at the Bottom of the World' (a more kid-friendly version of Endurance, a book David and I read aloud together and loved)
• I also recently bought the Usborne Complete Shakespeare. Very abridged versions of every play, but with character explanations too. We just read twelfth night and it was really well done. Now they somewhat understand the plot as we get back into memorization

Starting....

• We just started full home school back this week! On day two...I think I can I think I can I think I can....
• For the first time doing an on-line history course. So far so good....but internet slowness could pose a problem later in the semester
• CC Cycle 3, which means this is year 6! As I opened up our anatomy books to talk about tissue and organs we got into a great discussion on organ donation, they love the stories I tell of working at the hospital and watching this miraculous process in action!

Still blown away by...

• This valley we live in this time of year. The mountains tower around and the rice fields are a bright, lush green from the daily rain. You have to see it to understand this simple and absolutely gorgeous place we live! And honestly I don't notice it too much, we just happened to go on a drive through the valley on the new highway and it still took my breath away. That is a good thing.

We are Back: Quick Pics

 Before we left I took each kid on an end-of-semester date. Eating ice cream, playing games together, asking questions about life and school, I treasure these and don't do them enough!

Tobin was reading to Gabrielle from his new 'Star Wars' Readers. This, all before we left on our Thailand adventure.

To make all of our connections the following day, Sophia and I (off to camp) had to leave a day early and spend the night in the capital. We ate McDees more than once and stalked the Starbucks counter until it opened, just confessin'.

Camp was incredible, Meetings with great folks were so timely, and vacation was probably our best yet! I will detail the nitty-gritty later!

On the way back: airport Krispy Kreme.

We missed multiple phone calls asking Sophia to go to the provincial capital with the school soccer team for a tournament. We did miss the sign up but she got to participate in two-a-days leading up to the tournament, and Bella joined her (who can hold her own with the 4th and 5th graders).

This was a great chance to dive back in to reconnecting, since it is school break and a lot of our local friends are traveling.

More current and past events coming up!!!!

And Father's Day, of Course!

Last weekend really ended up being a 3 day par-tay!

David and I have been eating healthier for months, loving it and feeling great! We give ourselves some 'jolly days' every so often where we eat bread/carbs and sugar, but not much.  

Well, last weekend we had a blast eating our way through this list of goodies... (that we shared with lots of people!)

-Vanilla cupcakes with buttercream icing (Bella's bday)

-Vanilla cake with buttercream icing (Bella's bday)

-chocolate chip pancakes with homemade maple syrup

-Paula Deen's buttermilk biscuits (Father's day breakfast)

-Sausage (homemade, but was in our freezer)

-Bacon

-Cheesecake (NY style, my mom's recipe aka Grandma Donna, it is amazing) (Father's day yum, David asked for this)

-strawberry sauce for the topping

-Chocolate chip cheesecake bars (Sophia's bday)'

Although Father's day was Sunday, we swapped and celebrated it on Saturday and gave Sunday to Sophia's early birthday celebration.

We had a good time in the word as a family, we played games, watched the movie 'Annie', and ate yummy food. And our kiddos gave Daddy their gift:

From Tobin:
I love Dad because...

• He wrestles with me
• he plays football with me
• he kicks the soccer ball with me
• he taught me how to protect myself with the pretend gun
• he is funny and tricked me by pressing the red button in the car saying it turned on the jet engine.

From Bella:
I love Dad because:

• He loves us
• He does not get easily angered
• He is a good Dad
• He is funny
• He takes care of us
• He plays with us
• He is kind
• He lets us drink soda and watch movies
• He is our dad

From Sophia:
I love Dad because:

• He is so kind
• He's forgiving
• He is playful
• He is SO COOL
• He went to NC State
• He can skate board
• He is a good soccer player
• He jumps on the trampoline with us
• He brought me to China

From Gabrielle (who drew her own 'G' on here!)
I love Dad because:

• He has fuzzy hair
• He wrestles with me
• He picks me up at school sometimes
• He throws me at the pool

David is an amazing father to our children. His patience and tender love never cease to teach me and grow me in those areas as well. He is so intentional in every aspect: from discipline, to input in home school, to playing, he stays involved. His discerning wisdom has helped brace our family during times of uncertainty and trouble. His compassion and Christ-likeness has protected our family from living the status quo. David's integrity and deep knowledge of the word is just one more vital aspect of his fatherhood and leadership of our family. I am so thankful to God for the gift he has given me in a David. 

Sophia is (not quite) 10!

We decided to celebrate Sophia's birthday almost a full two weeks early! She and I travel this Friday to camp and other fun stuff all during her birthday, so she wanted to celebrate with her closest friends here. 

And she is a girl after my heart with her desire for chocolate chip cheesecake bars for her birthday cake....

 Right before it went in the oven.

She invited two friends and the S family for cake and a trip to the water park!

It rained hard and then let up and we had a great day on the slides and obstacle course.

 By the end of the day Gabrielle was walking up the tall steps and going down the 'big dragon' all by herself.

Sophia is really becoming a young lady and growing so much in grace and wisdom. She loves to choreograph dances, lead in neighborhood games, and teach at her blackboard daily. She loves to get up in class and help teach (something they start in Chinese 3rd grade). She loves to read and math is probably her favorite subject. We are loving watching the lady she is becoming!

We continue to pray for Sophia to grow up into her name and honor God with wisdom and grace.