One
story from Josiah's time here was really just one startling event among a few
other unsettling ones. I've waited long to put this out there because I
re-process it every time, which can be good and bad.
I turned 41 on Feb 5th, and on that day David was in a
motorcycle accident. We've lived here almost fifteen years and this was his
first motorcycle incident. It was quite minor, he was going fairly slow,
and he was able to jump off to avoid his whole body being pinned. His ankle
however is still very slow to heal. This was not his fault and the person at
fault agreed to pay damages. We praised the Lord for his protection and
prepared for Josiah's arrival on the 8th.
Once he arrived, we introduced him
to China by eating Chinese food almost every meal his first few days. But on
February 10th I made a Mexican feast: Bean, cheese and chicken chimichangas. It was during this meal that David started choking. He did not
panic but he was not breathing. He was trying to help himself get it up, and
finally motioned for me to help him. Both Josiah and I stood up, I told the
kids to pray. This was already a long minute gone by or more. We heard him make
a noise and some mucous came up. But his airway was still completely blocked.
It was at this point that I started the Heimlich, I could tell I wasn't strong
enough nor in the right position so I told Josiah: "You come do it, I
can't!" The kids were crying by now. Josiah put all he had into that
squeeze. Finally the food moved more, and he could cough and breathe a little.
It still took many moments to recover. But he did.
Every single one of us were shaken by
this. In our first four years overseas we were told twice that David could die
from whatever it was that was going on at that time (Rabid dog bite, Bad heart wiring),
this was far scarier than those. And sure we joked with Josiah about that being
the reason he came, and perhaps it was, but we were faced with the very real
reality that life is fleeting. Every breath is a gift. We know this, do we live
it?
We all cried and prayed
more, we thanked God. And in the moment I had to tell the kids: 'even if this
had ended differently, our God is still a good, loving Father.' Of course that
is exactly what I felt at that moment. And on the other hand that is what I am
supposed to say. But as we talked through the event and I processed it more,
the fear that wrangled my heart was tightening. Honestly I just started to put
the whole event out of my mind. As days went by I meditated on God's grace in
the present reality and not in the 'what ifs'. The tension of my soul settled a
bit.
But it's not a bad tension: to wonder at
God's grace in tragedy and to wonder at God's mercy in saving. The best is yet to come. This is a Christian sentiment that
actually means everything. It's the heart of who we are. In the scariest
moments it is hope realized, and for every other 'mundane' moment it is the
reminder that this world and all its brokenness is passing away. Eternity
with all of God's goodness and glory, joy and relationship unimaginable--this 'best yet to come' is God's promise to His children. It is not a salve, it is not
a blind 'goodness', it is not trite. It is what we experience in part every
day, and His choosing to take David or leave David on earth a while longer
doesn't change any of that.
But it should, and I hope it does, change us. Let it compel us to
live bigger love, give greater sacrifice, use intentional words, see more and more of HIS image displayed in us and talked about....a deeper enjoyment of God and all our gifts from Him, but also a joyful anticipation of HIS BEST that is yet to come.
