And a few days after that I just thought: I really don't feel joyful. And immediately HIS word came into my mind: That is because: "Lorraine, in MY presence is FULLNESS of Joy"....
That's where the joy is...
I know it all sounds abstract. But I love how God made us these emotional, physical beings able to process and wrestle and understand PRESENCE. What in the world does it mean, in HIS presence is fullness of joy?
It means, in the very least, that Joy is not at all found in the places I was looking for it: obedient kids, lists checked off, reconciled relationships, justice here and now....no no no...His presence, His love, His tender grace is the joy to be had...
Our read aloud book happens to be "Little Pilgrims Progress"...and Christian's longing to be with the King really challenged me...knowing that real love and pure delight awaited him, and not really knowing what it would be like but trusting that the struggle to get there was worth it.
A dear friend/mentor also wrote this last week:
"Stay courageous. You will suffer. Here, there, wherever.
What matters is how you suffer.
Stay Joyful. You will celebrate. Here, there, wherever. What
matters is why you celebrate."
Philippians 4:11-13.
And then I just read this from Jon Bloom: "The Book will keep you sane, because the Book tells you what’s real. What you perceive with your senses, how you interpret your perceptions, and how your emotions respond are unreliable indicators of reality. They will frequently not tell you the truth. And when they do, their reports will often be faulty because they are based on a very thin slice of reality. They can’t tell you the big picture. You need to know what God says is true and stand there."
I love this. My senses and emotions are telling me to wallow a while longer, His word is telling me to fight for joy. Seek and ye shall find, Trust in Him with all...He will make your paths straight....He is my Shepherd, I shall not want for anything...Love keeps no records of wrongs....we have an enduring city.....In His presence is fullness of joy...and on and on it goes to give me reality, a much better one than what I perceive at times!
