We are in trauma. A bit of an exagerration. but not really. It is about time I blog this phenomenon going on in our household: Sophia's poop problem. She did great at potty training. Sort of. Now she holds #2 for days on end and when it is time to go, she will run a hundred times to the potty all to say she can't go. Eventually she goes in her underwear, unwilling to sit and wait and relax on the potty. This morning, with food all prepped for a potluck after Sunday group, Sophia had to go number 2. She does her dancing on her toes, her grimacing faces. And when I put her on, she always starts refusing. It comes to screams and legs flailing, more screams. I try to reason with her about what is 'best' about how to do this, and nothing appeases her. We threaten all manner of things, then switch to all manner of comforts. We go back to a diaper she steadily refuses this, we hold her down and put it on, she is really up a couple octaves now. If I heard the screaming coming from our neighbors house, I would have gone to make sure the child was okay. Sophia was fine, just reveling in her defiance and discomfort. It certainly was a sad scene. I send the food with someone else, and we miss group time.
About every other day (or every 2 or 3 or 4, depending on how long she holds it), we spend 4-6 hours in this exhausting effort to get poop in the potty. And we fail most times. I, of course, thought it was all my fault, her diet. But even after changing that up, that is not the problem, it is her absolute, resolute, stubborn will. Wow. During that 4-6 hours I am sometimes sane, and handling it okay, like a loving mother should. And then there are those other moments....complete frustration, anger, hopelessness. I am certain I fail at handling this correctly most of the time. But as we say here: Zenme ban? How do you handle it?
In the middle of all of this morning's events , she was laying on the couch, I sitting in the chair across from her. David was out on the town looking for a suppository (which we do not have in this town). I started to pray: head down leaning on my clasped hands.
Sophia: 'mama, what are you doing'
Me (despairingly): I am praying honey.
sophia: mamma don't pray
Me: Sophia, I must pray, I need so much help.
Sophia gets down off the couch, says nothing, and comes over and gives me a big sincere hug.
Finally today, after going once in her panties, she had to go again, ran to the bathroom, hesitated, started to refuse, I literally picked her up and almost threw her on as she went to the bathroom. Then she looked up at me, smiled and: 'I pooped in the potty, I get a chocolate cookie.' I replied:
'honey, you only pooped in the potty because I put you on in record time, Mama should get the cookie.' She was relaxed, said it didn't hurt, and went to eat her cookie.
