I decided to go to our little bird and flower market and buy a plant. The problem is that I have killed every plant ever purchased here in China. In the US I did okay with really hardy plants, but here--nothing doing.
I looked around a bit, saw some worms for sale, some really cute dogs, lots of plants, stone carvings, some birds,and then started my discussions. I chose the older lady who was by herself instead of the younger-than-me crew who were sitting around playing cards. She was really kind, and I am sure she thought me strange. Here is what I told her:
"Please tell me which plant is the easiest to take care of.
I am scared I will kill it. I am serious. (she shows me some, we talk about differences, sunlight, water, etc.)
"I am stupid, please tell me how to take care of it." (she shows me a book with complete chinese instructions, I can read a few characters, but seriously? not about plant life)
"Are you sure this is the easiest one? when should I water it?"
"how much water?" (she is not rolling her eyes at my stupidity, but rather smirking a little like she is enjoying it, I, of course, am laughing the whole time. I want her to know that I know I am incompetent and able to laugh at myself, so she can laugh too)
She takes the plant down and actually shows me how to water it (hilarious), I was incredibly grateful.
We continue talking for a bit, when I hear a 'nihao laoban' (hello boss), this was in a weird voice and no one except foreigners ever say 'nihao,'I turn around and find a black bird on a lady's shoulder that repeats 'nihao laoban.' I am really laughing out loud now and looking for the camera in the bushes to see if I am on candid camera or something. You can't make this stuff up.
I ask her if the bird speaks English, she says it would need practice.
So, as I finish my transaction with the plants, the bird lady stands there moving her shoulder, getting her bird to talk.
I leave satisfied with my purchase, and seriously loving this country and the fun things I get to experience.
This was two weeks ago, the plant is still alive, and still green.
