Some people have a word for the new year. I have never done that. Ever. But as I was praying the other day, I really thought about what I would like to do a whole lot better this year. I contemplated areas of weakness and struggle, and oh there were many.
But if it was one thing that I really failed at a lot, in my walk, in my marriage, in parenting, and in daily life, it was the idea of adoring. Adore Jesus, adore my husband, adore my children, yes it goes along with enjoying and not just doing. But I chose adore because I was praying for David and I just thought how little I really let him know how much I adore him, truly treasure him, really trust him, truly just enjoy him, who he is and the amazing husband, leader and friend that he is….and my confession just spiraled from there.
You see I am a task oriented person. I love lists. Lists are good. But I can check off a reading plan, a reading plan intended to help me know and adore God. I can check off books I have read, good marriage books, intended to help me better communicate adoration to my husband. I can instill all the great parenting techniques, time management techniques, all intended to help me enjoy more...but all this doesn't mean I am doing it.
In the area of parenting I confessed to David that even though sometimes I am sitting there playing with the girls, my thoughts may be on how to better organize the room, when I should start with dinner, how much language study do I have left (the multi tasking brain is a must have for a mom, I know, but too often for me it really has precluded pure adoration for the gifts that they are to me, and prevented me from just enjoying them). My thoughts are far from them….and boy do I do this with my Father in heaven as well…
It has been a trend in my life as my life has gotten busier. ..
It is the whole Mary and Martha thing, one was doing something, the other adoring someone. And which was the better way? We all know. So do I.
I do not plan on missing out on that enjoyment anymore. This year, I plan to tell, and show, and love my husband by truly adoring him. With the girls, I will work hard to just be with them, play with them, without moving on in my brain to the next task on my list….I want to have fun with them and show them how much I adore them. Because I do.
And with my Lord, yes, I have a reading plan, and some memorization goals. But it is prayer and praise, and the Journaling thus far that is keeping me thinking on who He is and adoring Him more. The plans help me, they guide me, they keep me consistent, but having to put down on paper what is impressed on me that day, attributes to reflect on, this is keeping me more contemplative, more at his feet like Mary, more just sitting in wonder than moving on to my to-do list.
I know this will be a daily battle. But I press on to adore my God more this year, and loving him by enjoying and yes, even adoring, those good gifts he has given me.
Adore more.
